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Hey, welcome back to ADHD Owned, an ADHD entrepreneurs podcast. This is Jessi Romero and today I want to talk about diagnosing ADHD and share some of my unofficial tips and resources to self assessment test, and also how to find someone good. That is going to understand adult ADHD. And I have some tips of how to find those perfect people. Also just some of my experience with getting a diagnosis and some of the common experiences I hear from women trying to get diagnosed. So there are some red flags that you should look out for. So yeah, that's what this episode is going to be. I get asked this maybe three times a week on Instagram, DMS, how do I go about getting diagnosed for ADHD? I totally think I have it. And like the benefits, why should you even get diagnosed? That's
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another question I get a lot. Is it even worth me getting diagnosed if I don't want to try ADHD meds? So that's what we're gonna cover in this episode. And I don't know if you can tell, but I am a bit sick. So I've been battling a fever. And it seems like it's gone away. So fingers crossed. But my voice sounds a bit better today. So I'm able to record and I've actually been dying to record this. So yes, here I am finally doing it. Okay, so let's get started. I do want to start off by saying I am not a mental health professional. I am not licensed or certified. But I'm just sharing my personal experience my personal tips from literally spending days, crossing people off the list, scouring the internet and looking everywhere and talking to a lot of different people that could diagnose. So I'm just kind of collecting some of the information that my research gave me and that I've shared with my friends and with clients. So I wanted to pass that on to you. But of course, I do urge you to do your own research and figure out what's going to work best for you. Okay. All right. So let's go straight into it. So one thing that I always get asked is, why should I get an ADHD diagnosis? So let's first talk about that. Getting a diagnosis is really great for a couple reasons. First, the validation that comes from getting a diagnosis is incredible. And it's just really awesome. Because some people don't like the labels, quote, unquote, and they'll preach against you receiving labels and like accepting them for yourself. I don't totally agree with that. Because for me, a label of ADHD, like I have ADHD, and almost taking that on as a positive label may made me be able to get rid of all of the negative labels that I had been carrying around for years, things like I'm dumb, I'm not good enough, I can never do things right, I should not be trusted. I'm a lazy, I make careless mistakes. I'm not a good friend, I don't care, you know, all of these labels that I had about myself that were not true. But when I got an ADHD diagnosis, it was like a light bulb. And it just shed so much light to my experience, and why those things were happening. So it was really cool for that reason. And I know that a lot of people kind of go through this journey where they realize, oh, my gosh, I had believed such ugly things about myself, because we saw the proof of them, right? Like, I would literally stare at people and ask them to repeat their sentence three or four times before I could really process what they were saying, you know, that's auditory processing disorder. And it's something that a lot of ADHD people have, for example, or like needing captions as they watch videos, because if not, it just doesn't process correctly. That's also auditory processing disorder. And I really, like believe that I was just dumb. Like, I'm like, my IQ is just not high enough. Because, man, I be doing some silly things. So yeah, so that's like an example of how getting a diagnosis and the funky things that our brain does, is extremely validating. So I do recommend it for that reason. And I do want to mention that so many of us and if you've been diagnosed with ADHD already, then you can probably agree to this. But so many of us even after a diagnosis, we still have imposter syndrome about our ADHD funny enough. And when I say that, I mean like, maybe I'm not ADHD, maybe I really am just lazy, you know, because we just like it's still so hard for us to believe that we really do have ADHD, because we do have some good days. And it's like, I mean, I get by I'm just like so lazy, like maybe that's just it, maybe I don't actually have ADHD. So anyways, that's a common occurrence. I find that's going to happen but an ADHD diagnosis is really helpful for that reason. It's also helpful if well helpful and needed if you're trying to try out ADHD meds If you want to try out different prescriptions for ADHD to help your brain, then you're going to need a diagnosis in order for that to happen. So that's another reason why you would get a diagnosis. Now let's talk about quote unquote, self diagnosis. Because I don't know if you've seen these comments on social media on tic TOCs, and instagram videos, Facebook, but people, there's always those trolls. And I do call them trolls, because they're always going to be like, self diagnosis is dangerous, don't self diagnose. And it's so annoying when I hear this because if the mental health industry and mental health professionals were correctly educated about adult ADHD, and even ADHD and women, if they had enough education on that, then I would say this term doesn't need to be used as much the issue is, and I know a lot of you guys that have had bad experiences can like shout me down on this is it is so hard to find someone that truly has ADHD education, proper ADHD education, because what they're getting in textbooks at school, it is very outdated. And it's very much geared towards ADHD children, but not so much ADHD adults. And this is why so many people are not getting diagnosed with ADHD because the provider therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, whatever it is, they don't know what to look for. They are very well versed in anxiety and depression and even bipolar, they're very well versed in those. So that's why so many women and men get diagnosed with anxiety or depression, sometimes bipolar, sometimes even OCD, when it actually is not those things. It's ADHD. And of course, those things can also exist with ADHD, like some people are ADHD and also have OCD. Some people are ADHD and also are bipolar. But sometimes the provider is not well versed in ADHD enough, and they misdiagnosed people. And I wish I could tell you that this is a very rare occasion for a provider to miss diagnose people. And this is very frustrating that this is the state of the people that we're supposed to trust. But unfortunately, it's not true. They're not educated enough. And of course, there are bad apples, I'm not speaking for all of them. There are some therapists and psychiatrists and psychologists that are amazing. And I mean, I've even had clients that are therapists and counselors, and they have told me, I have had to look out, I have had to buy courses, I have had to do my own research, because they care and they want to learn, and they've had to go to outside sources to educate themselves on ADHD. But this wasn't part of their curriculum and parts of their certification. It wasn't things that were given to them. They only learn it because they themselves are ADHD or they go off to really teach themselves. Okay, so anyways, this is why self diagnosing is dangerous, quote, unquote, I don't agree with self diagnosing can be dangerous, okay, I'm not saying it can't be. Because if you don't really truly know yourself, and you don't do enough research, then yeah, you might self diagnose yourself with something that's very much not true for you. But what I say is self diagnosing is the first step. It's not the last step. So do your own research. First, do a lot of self evaluation and self awareness. And really do your research. Like really stick your nose in the books about ADHD, join the Facebook groups, join the ADHD community, see if you can relate to them. Look at the ADHD content, buy the ADHD books, do your research. And I'm telling you this because some people don't think about doing this but a big percentage of us who truly have ADHD actually find ourselves in rabbit holes, learning consuming information about ADHD. And it's like almost we can't stop thinking and talking about everything we're finding, right? This is the experience for some people, some people they learn that their ADHD but it's not until something else happened that really pushes them to like, look more into it and be like, Okay, let me learn more about this ADHD thing. So anyways, if you are someone that you would say you are very self aware, and you like really analyze yourself, you know what triggers you? You can even trace things back and you're very curious when something triggers you and you're like, Okay, wait, why did that happen? What triggered that? What am I feeling right now? What is coming up for me if you're that type of person, which by the way a lot of ADHD women and sometimes ADHD men tend to be that not everyone, but I have found that I'm not alone in this. If that's you, then self diagnosing is most definitely what I recommend as your first step, okay? Because you're very in tune with yourself. Now, if you can say I don't really do all of that. I just kind of feel things and I don't really wonder If you're not super, super self aware, then I would say self diagnosing is probably not something that you should do, because you're going to need some feedback and some help from a professional that can help you interpret what you're experiencing. Okay? Again, this is my very unofficial recommendation because I'm not a professional. And I know some of you may not even agree with what I'm saying right now, because you're very much self diagnosing is dangerous type of person. And I get where you're coming from with that. But what I have found is that there are people depending on where you are in the world, there are people that have to wait months and even years, to get into an office with a mental health professional and a provider to finally start their diagnosis with journey. It's a bit crazy to me that you have to wait months and years to wait when you really could just do your own research, really soak yourself in ADHD information and learn things about yourself and you will be really easily be able to tell if things relate to you, or if they don't really express your experience. So that's all I'm saying about that. Okay, self diagnosing first step. And I'll tell you why I'm so glad I did this because I did my own research. Before getting diagnosed, I did a shit ton of ADHD research. I mean, I took a whole three month hiatus off of my work to be able to just research ADHD, that's how serious and nerdy I was about it. And I'm so glad I did that. So when I went to go diagnose, I remember even telling the counselor that I was like, Look, I already know I have ADHD, I'm 99.9% sure I have it. But I would love for you to confirm that and really hear your feedback on that. So yeah, I was like, I will sign the rights to my child right now. That's how confident I am. Because everything I was like, oh my god, I definitely have ADHD, everything that I saw was so relatable. That's what I'm going to say about that. So my first tip is, do your research, okay? Don't go in there blindly have an idea of what you might think is happening to you, or what you've been experiencing, do your research, because a lot of the times who you may be sitting in front of might be a bit outdated in their education on their information about a certain diagnosis. So for whatever reasons, you are going to need to know your stuff because I was told some really outdated, stupid stuff that I'm like, No, you're wrong. That's not true at all. That's not what the studies say. I mean, really, it's not their fault, they really should be getting better education on ADHD and adults, but they're not. So this is really scary and dangerous for us. So first step, do your own research, do some self awareness. Now, I will say for some people that want to do any self assessment test, you may find a lot on the internet. So here are some that I recommend write these down one of my close friends at ADH Doers on Instagram, or you can check out their websites. They are awesome, they share really great content about ADHD, and all of the things ADHD. So they put out some really awesome infographics on Instagram, so you guys have to check them out. Anyways, they have a like self report self assessment booklet, which is really awesome. And you can fill it out yourself. And it's also very visually pleasing and engages your brain really well and super easy to fill out. So that is one of my favorite self assessment booklets that I've found, I bought it myself just to check it out so that I could refer to my friends or anyone that asked, and I really liked it. So I think you guys are gonna really like it. And I did reach out to them to see if I could get a discount code for you guys. And they actually agreed. So if you guys use the discount code at checkout, ADHD owned, all in caps, one word ADHD owned, then you will get 10% off the booklet. So I'm really excited to share that with you guys. So that is one of my favorite ones that I do recommend. I just really liked the way they laid it out. And they really ask you some deep questions to really get you to understand your brain and to see if ADHD is what you are experiencing. So recommend that one. And then another one that I like is also from Instagram at the mini ADHD coach. She has some really cute graphics that also do a good job of explaining ADHD and real life experiences. And she also has a self assessment booklet that's also very visually pleasing. Her, as I would say, has more of like a story line almost because her graphics are really a storyline type. It's very cute and also really helpful. So yeah, so those are my two that I like ADHD Doers And at the mini ADHD coach and they're very cheap. So hopefully you are able to check those out if you are looking for a self assessment test to really figure out if you should seek diagnosis if ADHD is really what you are experiencing. So save yourself the headaches Have all of that. So do that first and then go into some research, and then go and find some providers that can officially diagnose you. Okay, so now let's go into my second tip, which is doing your research on the providers, okay, before you sit in their chair, when I was doing my, my journey, and I basically stumbled on ADHD, then I was like, Okay, I did my research on it. And I was like, Okay, I think I've, I do want to try ADHD meds because I really feel like I need something to help me. So I started looking into providers, thankfully, I have insurance. So I was able to go through my insurance company and figure out who is covered and that kind of stuff. And that is really tedious, boring, work. So sitting down to look through your insurance, if you have insurance, and trying to see what providers are covered. Sometimes your insurance will have like a directory and other times it won't. My insurance was really a jerk and didn't have a directory for mental health providers. So I had to go to here's a second resource psychology today. I really love that one. And I'm not sure if they're in other countries, but in the US, this is one that is a trusted resource to find therapists and mental health professionals. And it's really cool because it tells you like, what they specialize in what they like. So that's really cool. So I use psychology today to try to cross reference people that took my insurance and people that had experience with ADHD. Now it is hard because when you type in ADHD, a lot of providers will come up. But then when you do further investigating, you realize that it's Oh, ADHD and children though. And, yeah, we're adults, we need ADHD for adults, please. There's so many resources and professionals that dedicate their life to ADHD and children, but there's not that many for adults. So it's harder to find, which is why going to an ADHD coach is a great alternative to a therapist because ADHD coaches are certified, and they know exactly how to help. So anyways, okay, so Psychology Today, I recommend, and then just doing a good old Google search and trying to find someone in your area. Now, here's my third tip to finding someone that may be good. Here are some things you're going to look for. Okay? You're going to need to check their website, look at their website, snoop around, is their website, like super outdated? Because I don't know, that's a little bit of a red flag to me, because I'm like, if you got an outdated website, you might be super outdated yourself. So you don't want that. And then there was one provider that I had on my list that I'm like, huh, they seem good. The reviews are good. But then in my further investigation, I realized that they had like a little age D section on their website, sometimes some of them will have that. And if you find that this is gold, because you want to go and read it, and make sure that the information is not outdated, because what I found is this provider that I liked, they had like a section on their ADHD that said, ADHD is usually found in boys and not girls. Basically, it was like ADHD mainly affects men and not women. And I was like, wrong. No, that is so wrong. That's what we thought 10 years ago, but it's no longer true. ADHD was not found in women, because ADHD shows up differently for women. So this is why women and girls went undiagnosed for so freaking long. So yeah, I was like, yeah, definitely not. So you definitely want to check out the little ADHD section if they have one. And then if they don't, and they don't really have much information, then then you're going to need to take it up a level and you're going to need to call and talk to someone. And I do recommend doing this to at least your top picks are the ones that seem the best. And you're going to want to call and you're going to want to help them with questions. Okay. So some of the questions that I asked were Do you have any one that specializes on ADHD in adults? And see if they have anyone that usually takes those clients? Sometimes they will? Sometimes they won't. And then you want to ask if they do any ADHD evaluations or diagnosis, because some places do like a formal ADHD evaluation and they will evaluate you to diagnose you with ADHD. And some places won't do it. So obviously, that's not where you want to go. And then if they say yes, we do ADHD evaluations, then you want to ask them cool. What does that process look like? Because that process, it looks very different for different people. Sometimes, it can get done in one appointment. Usually it's takes two appointments to get it done. Sometimes they need to see you for a few months before they can even think about evaluating you for anything, which is kind of ridiculous. And then sometimes they'll put you on a waitlist, so and so. So you want to ask, what does that process look like. Also, if you're not insured, and you're having to pay out of pocket for this, and you're not in a country that has free health care, then you need to know that it is a bit pricey. This is where it just irks me so much that this is what our healthcare system looks like. Because sometimes it's not freaking easy to get a diagnosis. Because some places the ADHD evaluation was like six to $700. And I did not have that money at that time. So I was like, yeah, no, also, what I found is that insurances do not cover ADHD evaluations. Why? I don't know, cuz they're dumb. So yeah, that really sucked. And then if you have a corporate job, and you're wanting ADHD accommodations, a lot of the times they will ask for you to have an evaluation and for you to like, show proof, which is honestly really gross. But if you need one for your work, then you're going to need one of those official ones that are usually six to $700, or even more, some places were charging, like 1200. So here are some people that you can look up that can prescribe meds. So if you're interested in trying out ADHD meds, you're going to need a psychiatrist, a psychologist or a neurologist. And I'm sure there may be one or two other, but those are like the top ones. And really, it's psychiatrist or psychologist, a neurologist is way more expensive and harder to get in. But a therapist and a counselor, or even a social worker, or even an ADHD coach, they are going to be able to diagnose you, they're not going to be able to prescribe you any meds. So what my personal recommendation is because psychiatrist, I'm sorry, but psychiatrists are probably the worst, at actually listening, they're the best to just get a prescription. That's really all they're great for. But they're not going to sit there and listen to you talk about your problems, or talk about what's really affecting you, they don't really do that. And if you found one that does hold on to them, psychologists are much better at that psychologist will listen to you. And we need providers that are going to listen to us and ask us more than just for questions to diagnosis. Yeah, so my personal recommendation is to go to a therapist, or even to go to a counselor because they really will listen, and they actually care. And then they can oftentimes they can diagnose you with ADHD or not, or with anything else. And then they will refer you to a psychiatrist that can then prescribe the meds. So from my experience, that has been the best route, because you want someone that can truly listen and try to determine if you have ADHD or not. So a therapist or counselor is the way to go. And then they'll refer you to a psychiatrist that can prescribe meds. That's my recommendation on that. So you want to ask when you're calling around trying to find someone you want to ask them? Do they have experience with ADHD in adults? And oftentimes, you'll hear yes or no. And I would say, I would try really hard to try to find someone that will say yes, they do have experience with ADHD in adults. Because if you get someone that doesn't, you really have no clue what you're showing up for. Because they could be very uneducated about ADHD and not really even want to test you for it. So it's going to be important for you to find someone that does have experience with ADHD and adults, they're going to be the most helpful, and the less risky of getting someone that's a complete idiot. So let me quickly tell you my hilarious story on the first psychiatrist that I went to, because he said the most idiotic thing I've ever heard. And immediately after he said this, I was like, hell no. So I had my list of people that I wanted to go to or like my top picks, but it was so hard to get an appointment during this time, because the pandemic had just hit. So a lot of psychologists and psychiatrists were booked. So a lot of people are not taking new appointments. Anyways, I found this one. And his website looked great. It was like really modern and nice and user friendly. And I was like, oh, okay, so someone really cares about their website for me, that's a that's a green flag. That's a good sign that they actually care so honestly, that I was a bit swayed by that. So I was expecting someone that cared and someone that was not outdated, but I was wrong, because he asked me like five questions. And of course, like, this is my first time having any type of appointment for like mental health. So I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know how much information I should give him. I didn't know if I should really go into it. I don't know if he was going to ask me one question. And then I was going to respond. And he was going to ask me more follow up questions. Well, he didn't do that. He just asked me the question. I answered it, and honestly did not even give that much information, because I didn't know how much to give. And then he would just move on to the next question. So basically, at the moment, I was struggling through really bad postpartum rage, anxiety, depression, I was extremely burned out in my business in my life. As a mother, I was having a really hard time with that transition. So I was in a really bad place. And I was not getting any sleep done. So I was not able to sleep at night, and just so much anxiety. So what he determined was that I was depressed. He was sending me and I depression meds, and he was sending me a sleep aid to help me sleep at night. And so immediately, I was like, Okay, well, I mean, it's not below me that I may be going through a depressive episode or through depression at the moment. But I know that there's something to the core of thankfully, I have not struggled with depression my whole life. Like I've been through like moments of depression, but it's always sparked by something. So I knew that it was way deeper than that. And I was like, Why are you just going to treat me for depression? Like, let's get to the root of it. Right. So I was like, okay, yeah, I mean, I think that can help. But I really was interested in getting evaluated for ADHD. So could we do that in our next appointment? Because obviously, before my appointment, I had talked to the receptionist. And she said, I asked her the questions that I recommended to you guys. And she said, Yes, we do ADHD evaluations. And no, it doesn't take a whole bunch of appointments, you just ask him to get evaluated, and then he will evaluate you. And I was like, Okay, perfect. Well, no, he was like, Well, no, let's wait a few months to see how the meds are helping. And if you're feeling better, and then if it gets to a point where I think you may, we may need to evaluate, then we will evaluate you after a few months. So I was immediately like, okay, like, that's not what she told me on the phone, but whatever. And then when I asked for an ADC evaluation, this is what he says. He says, ah, you know, people always want to get diagnosed with ADHD because they think it's going to be a magical solution to all their problems. But that's not how it is. So we're gonna wait a few months, see how the anti depression meds are working for you. And then we will evaluate later. And so I was like, Excuse me. I mean, I didn't say any of this. But I was shocked. I literally my jaw dropped. I was like, this man did not say that. I'm just wanting to hope that my ADHD diagnosis is gonna fix all my problems magically. Like, who thinks that way? No. I was like, No, that's not what I'm trying to do here. And actually, an ADHD diagnosis did magically helped me with a lot of things. Okay. Like I said, it allowed me to remove so many negative labels. It gave me so much validation. It helped me look for the support and resources needed my whole life, not the stupid self help books that I've tried to implement for my life. And it has not worked because I have a different brain. So yeah, I was super frustrated when he said that and I was like, okay, okay, thank you very much, hung up the phone, called back to his office, because at this time, they were like, working from home. So I had to call back to his office speak to the receptionist. And I was like, yes, just calling to cancel all future appointments. Because I'm like, Nope, there's no way I'm going back to that doctor. He's ridiculous.
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I was so upset that someone would say, oh, you know, ADHD, people just want to get diagnosed with ADHD because they think is gonna be a magical solution to all their problems. Man, I was so mad. I was like, This is so annoying. And you know, what's crazy is if I had not done my research on ADHD, like I'm recommending you guys do if I had not done my research, I would have just had to trust what he said. I would have been like, Okay, well, Doctor says, I just need to take these meds and it's going to get rid of my depression and all my problems. And that's not what I needed. I wasn't in depression, because depression. I was in depression because I was so burned out because my ADHD had been unmanaged for years. And I was going through a really hard time with motherhood. So yeah, it was really bad. And I wish I could tell you that this experience of mine was an anomaly was something that does not happen often, but unfortunately, it happens often. So that's why I'm urging you to really do your research, call around home those people with all of your questions, and really figure out who's going to be the best provider for you and do not be afraid to say Nope, cancel all future appointments and look for someone else. Some therapists are crazy and they made, they really are just super outdated and they don't understand. So do not stick around for someone that is not really listening to you. You have to trust your gut feeling. Okay? So do your research, do research on the providers, ask them the questions. So a diagnosis can help you so much. And reminder that trying out ADHD meds, it's gonna be a journey, okay? You might have to trial and error a lot of them. And this is just the normal journey, because they're going to need to figure out what your body absorbs better and what works best for you. So don't expect for it to be like you try your first one. And that's the answer to everything. Also, measure not for everyone, some people respond really well to them and others don't. Also Also Also, ADHD meds are not the answer to your all of your problems. Because I think all of us go into the ADHD med journey thinking that ADHD meds are going to fix our life, and not make us an ADHD anymore. And that's not true, because it's going to help you in some things, but a lot of the other things are still going to be there. Or a lot of the time some people some people explain it to be like, it helps me out like a 30%. So it does help but I'm also experiencing ADHD symptoms, still everyday a lot. So yeah, just wanted to set the expectation that ADHD meds can help, but do not expect them to, like magically not make you ADHD because, yeah, they have not made the pill for that yet, unfortunately. Okay, so those are my top tips for getting a diagnosis. And I'm telling you, I hope that I didn't leave you discouraged with this episode. Unfortunately, I have to be honest, and say that there's a lot of work that needs to be done in the mental health arena, including providers, and it's unfortunate, but you just got to do your research, and advocate for yourself. But you can't do those things if you haven't done your own research first. And really feel like you know yourself and you kind of know what you need. So yeah, help them help you in that way. Okay, hope this was helpful. If you have any questions, you can reach out to me through DMS, or in my Facebook group at ADHD, female entrepreneurs community. And you can ask anyone, even in your area, if they know of a good provider, a lot of people do that, or some of the top questions. Oh, lastly, I did want to say it is helpful to bring a list of symptoms that you believe you experience of ADHD and having that list because sometimes that's helpful when they ask you Well, why do you think you have ADHD and you can be like, well, because this happens. But you know, sometimes when we get put on the spot, our mind goes blank. So it would be good for you to be prepared and come with a list of questions or even the answers to a self assessment test you took to see if you have ADHD, I would bring that with you and say, Look, I've done my research. This is why I believe I may have ADHD, but I'm really looking for your feedback and your expertise to tell me if that could be true. So that's my other tip to come prepared and write down a long list of things that you experience that you believe you may have ADHD. So it might be helpful for you at the moment. Okay, that is it. Hope this was helpful. Reach out to me if you have any questions, and yeah, okay, see you at the next one.
