Hey, welcome back to ADHD Owned, an ADHD Entrepreneurs podcast. So today, I kind of want to cover something that is quite controversial in the online world when it comes to ADHD. And there's lots of different stances on this. And the main reason why I want to talk about this today is because what your stance on this is, can really change how you are perceiving things, and also some of the results that you see. So I really want to challenge you today just to make sure that whatever your stance on this is, is based off of something that you truly want to believe for yourself, and maybe even something factual. So let's get right into it. Today's topic is about is ADHD a disability or is it just a neurological difference? And I don't know if you have seen the debates in this, participated in the debates on this. I think that there is lots of truth on both sides. And so I think it's important to talk about that. So if we were to not label ADHD as a disability, as a mental condition, as a disorder, then what would that mean? Would that just mean that ADHD is not existent, and our brain doesn't have any differences, compared to what a typical quote unquote brain would have? That just doesn't sit right with me because ADHD is very different. Even in brain scans, ADHD shows up quite clearly to someone who knows what they're looking for. So it wouldn't give it justice to just say, No, it's not a disability, it's just nothing. Now, some people argue that it's not that it's not nothing, it's that it's just a neurological difference. And I think this point of view does have some merit to it. Because when we look at our society, our culture, our world today, there really has been some boxing going on. Like, it is so much easier to put things in a box, that's understandable, especially when it comes to health. When it comes to insurance purposes, Doctor purposes, it's very, very important for them to be able to put things in a box so that they can understand it, so that they can put a price tag on it, and so that they can get the correct help. So for that sense, it makes sense. But I believe that ADHD brains really are a neurological difference, like our brain is just wired differently. And are there things we can do that can help that? Yes. But are there things that will ultimately get rid of that and make your brain completely typical, like everyone else's brain? No, that's not possible. So I think it's important for people to realize because some people don't even realize that ADHD shows up on brain scans, that it's not just something that psychologists created so that they could give kids a bunch of meds in the 90s. Like, ADHD is not just a made up thing. It's very real. But here's the problem. When we start labeling and calling it and seeing it is the biggest key word here, seeing it as a disability. And for this, the word disability somewhat needs to be defined here. So according to the dictionary, a disability is a physical or mental condition that limits a person's movement, senses or activities. Okay, so I feel like that fits ADHD, because having an ADHD brain does limit some of my activities. For example, sometimes I procrastinate going to the restroom, because I'm so hyper focused and I don't want to be bothered to stop what I'm doing just to go tinkle. And that to somebody who does not have an ADHD brain Sounds preposterous to them. It sounds odd and weird and like, but why would you even have to do that. But for someone who has an ADHD brain, they may totally relate and understand where I'm coming from when I say that, because breaking our focus can be detrimental for us sometimes. And it's so complicated when we are focused on something and we're in a groove in our mental headspace. And then we have to stop that sometimes, even just stopping that just to use the restroom just to take like 20 steps to get to the restroom, and come back to our computer, whatever it is that we were doing. Sometimes just that short of a break can completely change our focus, it could distract us, it could even make us forget what we were doing. It could take away our motivation and like the focus and alignment we had towards that one task we were doing, it can be risky. And it's funny, because neurotypical brains don't understand that, like, if they're working on something, and then they feel the urge to use the restroom, there's go to the restroom, and then they just come back and keep going. And I'm not saying that me as an ADHD person can't do that. I can do that. But not always. And so I ended up just kind of procrastinating using the restroom because I really just don't want to get up and break my focus. In the sense having ADHD is giving me a short disability, to be able to go and use the restroom. The minute my body tells me to go use the restroom. I remember when I first learned this, I was like, wait, what, but did you know that some women can get UTIs just from holding it in? If they held it in too long. They risk getting a UTI. I had a friend who told me this once that it was like we were out working in an event actually. And she was like, Oh, I really got to use the restroom. She's like, but I don't want to go back in because it's such a far walk. And so I was like, Oh, well, I mean, we're going to go in there and a little bit like, you can just wait until then she was like, yeah. And then she was like, no, actually, I can do that. Because every time I hold it in, I get a UTI. And I was like what that is weird. But then I found out that it's actually not that weird. This does and can happen to people. So for example, that is if she had an ADHD brain, which actually I think she does. But if she has an ADHD brain, and she continues to hold it in and not use the restroom, then this is causing dysfunction in her body because she is now getting an infection for it. So however you want to whatever example you want to use, ADHD does make things difficult, and it can be a disability, meaning unable to do this. It's the extent of which is quote, unquote, normal. So when people talk about disabilities, I think it's so easy to talk about the examples of things that don't quite affect us as much. For example, keeping focus in a conversation, when someone is telling me a story. Maybe they're going way too slow for my brain. And maybe it's not really interesting to me. And it's hard for me to stay focused on what they're saying, like, I listened for five seconds. And then after that, I was thinking about something else and just nodding my head as if I were listening, this could be a disability, because a typical brain does not have this challenge of listening, a typical brain has a higher attention span and can listen doesn't have to do all of the Olympics, to try to get their brain to focus on something. So in this sense it is a disability. But so many people can say well, but that's just in a social setting, like, you know, it's your brain is just different, right. And it's so much easier to deny the fact that ADHD can be a disability. But when you think about it, like skipping meals, not using the restroom, not doing what you need to do, like just staying in bed all day, even though you have things that you need to do, like, you have to go to work, but you don't feel like going to work, like so many more things that are so much more important and can really affect truly affect someone's day to day. That really is a disability. And I think to be completely honest, because I don't know if you guys have gotten this, but I'm just gonna be very blunt and honest and transparent with you guys on this podcast, because that's just my style. But there were times in my journey where my ADHD really felt debilitating. And this is where I think a lot of people currently are in sadly. So it's really damaging for them to see people talk about ADHD in a positive light because it just makes it seem like it takes away the validation of like, this is really hard for me and I'm having a really hard time. And it's not just like little things like I forgot my keys. It's like things that are really impacting and affecting my life. Right. And I think it's important to note that ADHD, a little bit like autism, can be a spectrum. Some people are a little bit higher on the chart for ADHD and their symptoms are more prominent and are affecting them more than other people. So I think that's really, really important to note because what you are experiencing in your ADHD can be completely different than the other ADHD are also when you add in the way you grew up your current environment, and now how you take care of yourself now your current habits, all of those things really, really affect how your ADHD is manifesting and showing up in your life. So it's not good to make overall blanket statements about ADHD. And I try myself to avoid making those because I know it's based off of the person. But here's one thing that I do say about or think about ADHD as a disability is that when I was going through these really hard patches in my life, where ADHD really felt like, it was really the villain of the story, it was the reason why everything was out of control in my life. And the reason why I couldn't even crawl back out of it, that during that time, I used to just curse at my ADHD brain. And I used to feel how ADHD I was being during the day, I could see my symptoms as if they were staring back at me. And this is a journey that I feel like a lot of women go through or women and men go through after they get diagnosed with ADHD, and then they can now start spotting their symptoms in daylight, and they can start seeing it in themselves and labeling it as their ADHD, which is a good thing to have. But it gets really muddy in the beginning stages of your journey, because it's so easy to see it. And when you start seeing how much your ADHD is affecting you, and it's showing up in your everyday life, it can get really discouraging, because you realize, oh my god, like this, like dominates me almost, it has such a control over me. And then it's so easy to go off. Like, it's hard to see those patterns in yourself and almost knowing that they're not totally in your control, like they just happen. And I remember going through this phase where I had become like, hyper aware of my ADHD symptoms. And I was focused on like pointing them out to myself. And then that graduated towards hating myself for what I was seeing and feeling really discouraged and hopeless, because I just felt like, this is what my life is going to look like. Like, it was like someone told me, you chronically have this for the rest of your life. And there's nothing we can do about it. And that's truly how it felt. And I remember going through a grief stage. And this is very common for anyone going through this journey. There's a grieving stage where you realize like, Man, I am different, my brain is different, and it is challenged. And there's not a lot that I can do about that, like, this is how it's gonna be. Right. So I went through the stage, and I got really negative about how I was viewing my ADHD. Now I can't say 100% because I've always been a positive person, a positive thinker. So there were still parts of me that was like, No, but I'm just accepting myself now. Like, I know, I'm still good. Like, I'm still worthy. And enough, even though I can do these things, like there was still a little bit of that in me. But it was completely being overshadowed by how negative I felt towards my ADHD and how hopeless I felt. I think hopeless is the correct word for what I was feeling. So as I was going through this time, I remember the more I thought and saw my ADHD, the more it happened almost. And I then later on learned about neurolinguistics and more about positive mindsets and NLP and some of that work that really explains human emotions and human patterns and the way a human's brain is, and I remember learning that what you focus on expands. And this was so illuminating for me because it brought me back to those moments where all I could focus on was seeing my ADHD. And so what that meant is that I was expanding more Those situations I was explaining more of my symptoms. The more I noticed how clumsy I was, it felt like the more clumsier I got, the more I noticed how much I keep forgetting to close the cabinets, or to put my clothes away, the more that that happened for me, then it was a bit trippy. And I hadn't realized until I like stepped back away and could look back on it. And you may hear people using the example like if I tell you to look for a red Toyota, all of a sudden you start seeing red Toyota is like when you buy a new car, all of a sudden, you start seeing twin cars of yours everywhere, right? And it's because what you are focusing on is expanding, your brain is now hyper focused in a way of seeing more of that thing. Another thing I learned is that your brain believes what you tell it. If you tell your brain that there is a spider crawling up your back right now, does your skin not start crawling? And don't you start feeling a bit itchy? Yes. Because your brain can tell the difference between reality and imagination. Our imaginations are so powerful when it comes to that sense. So it is really important to note this because if I continue to say my ADHD makes me a terrible friend, my ADHD allows me to never be on time, my ADHD holds me back from my business, my ADHD makes me so unorganized, I'll never be able to be an organized person, when you are saying these things, believing these things, thinking these things, you're seeing more of that you're telling your brain, hey, this is what we believe. So this is what you're gonna start seeing now. And your brain is going to believe what you tell it, it's going to take it as proof because the next step that happens is that your brain then starts looking for proof of this thing. When we were kids and we were being formed developmentally in our brain. And we were forming our beliefs and our narratives, our brain would make a connection, and it would then try to find the proof of that. So for example, if I say I was in school, like actually, this is a true story. One time I was walking to the restroom in like, I think it was like fourth grade. And I was a very shy, quiet kid, not a lot of friends. So I was walking to the restroom and the restroom was like inside of our classroom. And as I was walking, I don't know why or how. But I completely slipped and fell on my face. And it was like a moment where the class was actually quiet. I think we were writing so everyone was quiet, just like doing their work. Which actually is probably why I wanted to go to the restroom because I was probably bored out of my mind. I needed a distraction. And I don't know why the floor was slippery but I slipped completely on my face. And I remember instantly being so mortified and embarrassed and like, I can't believe this is happening to me right now. And then to add on to it, my crush in the classroom, sat in the back. And so he looked so concerned for me and like he helped me up which I was like, No, oh my gosh, I would fall right my face in front of him. Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. And so I went into the restroom, and I wanted to cry so bad when I'm like, No, I can't cry. Because when I come out, people are gonna see that my eyes are watery, and then they're gonna know I'm crying and it can't take too long in this bathroom, because then they're gonna be like, What's wrong with her? Is she okay? But I really just want to stay there for the rest of the day. So anyways, what happened from that situation? It was like such a traumatic experience. Not really dramatic, but you know what I mean? That in that moment, I said, you have to be more careful when you walk. And I remember like, almost training my brain to be more careful. And since that moment, I kind of believed that I was a bit clumsier than other people. And once I established that belief or that thought about myself, my brain started to look for more proof of that so that it could be like, Okay, this is true or this is not true. And the more proof it finds, like the more I tripped over my foot while I was walking with my friends or the more I accidentally ran into the wall. The more my brain was watching that and saying, oh, there's some proof that we are clumsy. Oh look, again some more proof that we are clumsy. Yep, it is a done deal. We are clumsy. This is who we are. This is what we people should expect from us. This is what we're going to put out. And that's kind of what your brain goes through. So maybe now you can imagine why pick Sharing your ADHD as the reason you are not able to do what you want, the reason why you're never going to be able to accomplish running a successful business, the reason why you'll never have a good relationship, the reason why you feel like you never fit in having such limiting beliefs about yourself can just be really damaging, it's not going to produce anything other than what you put into it. And a negative thought is never going to produce a positive thought. That's just not how math works. So I really want us to change the way we perceive and see our ADHD. Now, some people get really offended when you call ADHD a disability, like even using the D word disability disorder, mental condition, like really sets them off, because they really believe that ADHD is none of those things. It's just a neurological difference, which I agree to that. But to a certain extent, yes, I agree that ADHD is just a neurological difference. And if we didn't have to have these boxes and labels, to kind of make the world make sense, and the way our society and cultures are set up, then it would be great, and we really wouldn't need it. And I really think that it's okay to acknowledge that people's brains are different. And there's certain groups of people that kind of have similar brains. And I feel like that is very humane and normal. But what I don't think is okay about doing that is that it takes away the fact that ADHD really can make things challenging for people, it can be debilitating. So, I like to still label or call ADHD, a disability. But I do not like to take on the psychological label and limiting belief of that, if that makes sense. So yes, ADHD, for me, is a disability. But does that stop me from doing what I know I can? No, do I allow for ADHD to now be the label of my brain and that I can't do anything other than what my symptom list says? No, I do not believe that or want to believe that for myself. This is my personal opinion. And I have lived through taking that on. I have lived through the disability label and feeling so identified with that, but then letting it shape the way I perceived my ADHD and the way I perceived what I was capable of. And that really led me down a hole and got really, really stuck in my business for a really long time. So do not recommend that. For me, it's kind of a happy medium, I'm neither this way or that way, I'm kind of in the middle, where I think it's important to still talk about ADHD in the medical field world as a difference. But I don't think it's okay for you as your person in your own thoughts in your own world to label disability as reason, proof that you can't do things. And when I say you can do things, I don't mean like, well, you know, if you want to work out seven days a week and wake up at five in the morning, and then you want to make yourself a protein shake by seven in the morning. And then you want to do journals at nine in the morning. And then you want to do three perfectly timed blocked hours. And then after that, you're going to walk your dog and then after that, you're going to cook yourself a beautiful meal. And then after that you're going to go visit friends and have margaritas with them. And then after that you're going to read a book and like this, like I just described a movie, a perfect little character, maybe neurotypicals can live this way. And they're not exhausted by the end of the day like this is just a normal day for them. And maybe you as an ADHD or maybe that didn't sound that bad. Maybe that's what your life looks like. And that is awesome. But for many ADHD is not quite in our capacity. Nor is it something we truly even want for ourselves. So when I say like you can't, it's going to limit what you can do. I'm not saying like, those are some of the things that you should be doing. Because the question is always like, what do you need? What does your brain need? What do you want? And depending on what that is, then you can create a plan of action for yourself that is going to take into account your ADHD and your differently wired brain and it's going to be able to give you something that you want in a way that you can do it not the way everyone else does it. Not the way that awesome book tells you how to do it but the way that you feel right for yourself. That's kind of what I mean by that. So in my business, having this change of perception, and removing the limitation that I had kind of put myself in and making ADHD, not the villain of my story, but making it like the supportive best friend role, the one that sits next to the driver, not the one that's in the driver's seat, but the one that sits next to the driver in the passenger seat, and maybe they influence the driver to do some crazy things. But they're not the villain of the story. And doing this for myself has been the most impactful thing I was able to do because it changed so much of my relationships, my work, everything. And I think it's really important for us to make sure that we're not accidentally limiting ourselves. And I heard a cancer doctor say once that there were two ways that a cancer patient's journey could go. And it all depended on how they took the news, that they had cancer and they had however many days to live, one cancer patient would take that on, and just completely break down and let it limit them and completely have it be a limiting thing. And something that is just obviously very hard news. But they don't try to enjoy their days, they don't try to make the most out of it. They don't even try to believe that their body could heal. And so they live the rest of their life miserable, sad, and depressed, and their cancer gets worse and more painful. Remember, guys, this is what a doctor was saying. And he said some people that this is the journey that transpires for them. On the other hand, there's the people who grieve, but then decide, I'm going to make the most of my days, I'm going to fight this, I'm going to be strong, I'm going to enjoy my family, I'm going to believe that there's healing. And they still like try to get up and try to do what they can for themselves. And they don't let the death sentence quote, unquote, be a death sentence for their mind, for their strength, for their energy. And he said that those people have a much better journey. And some even do get better and recuperate. I say that to tell you that if you want to believe that your ADHD is a reason why so much is going on in your life, which hate it probably is. But what I'm saying is that the more you believe that the more you see it, the worse it gets, and it's not going to get any better. You can try all of the ADHD hacks, you can try all of the actions and implementing new habits. But because your foundation is that this thing sucks, and I am limited and I'm never going to be able to do that you're never going to be able to do. So that is one of the biggest things I want you to walk away from. And guys, it is your decision. I'm only just here sharing my thoughts, my experience and my advice to you. But you're the one living your life, you're the one in control. And it is up to you what you allow your brain to believe what you allow your brain to discuss and continue to form in your mind. It's not in our control to control our immediate thoughts. But it is in our control to decide what we're going to do with those thoughts. Are we going to let them grow? Or are we going to nip it in the bud or cut them off right away and replace them with something that we do want to be true. So that is my preaching for you today? I hope that that was helpful. And if you completely disagree with everything I said, then that's okay. That is why this is the internet and there's so many different opinions for this. And again, this is just my opinion. And also, I think it's really cool if people could just live with different opinions and agree to disagree. Like I am very much an agree to disagree person. I don't need to agree with everyone and people do not need to agree with me. It does not bother me. It does not offend me, because it has nothing to do with me. But like why can't we just live in harmony though? Why? To someone having a different opinion to you immediately. Make them the enemy? I don't get that. I really don't. I really don't get that and that's why I just don't have an interest for politics because it is just so divisive and I just can't stand it. Anyways getting off topic but that is the episode that I had for you. So if you are super interested in changing this for yourself, in starting to go on a new journey where you accept your ADHD brain as it is, and you start to implement supportive things that could really help your ADHD thrive, then I have a few things for you. First off, we have the membership, which is really awesome. And it's only $47 a month, we're also adding some really cool new features. And I may or may not be upping the price. So I would get in when you can because if you do, you get grandfathered into the price. But another thing I want to tell you guys about is currently my one on one program, I have only two spots left. And I imagine that those will be gone by the end of this week or next week. So I have two spots left for my one on one program. And it is basically in a nutshell, mindsets, really working through some healing that needs to happen from living in a neurotypical world as an ADHD are, and some of the mindset, perceptions narratives, and just reframing some of those things so that you can unlock the potential that you know you have the potential for. And then we'll work on your business alignment and really aligning your business for you, your needs, like your lifestyle and for your brain so that you can sustainably run your business and not want to go on vacation every week. And then lastly, the business foundations and business strategies to grow your business. So we're talking the messaging, the branding, the marketing strategy, all of that jazz. So that is what my one on one covers, it is four months with me. So that is way longer than what I've done before. But I have structured it in a way where it is really, really favorable and easy. So if you're interested and looking for a one on one coach and getting direct support, to really make your business thrive and to really get your business to where you know it can be then check out the show notes and you'll see my application there to apply and grab one of the spots. Okay, I hope that was helpful for you today. Let me know what you think on Instagram. And I'd love to have a chat if you completely disagree. Then cussed me out on Instagram, please. I'm about that life. No, I'm kidding. Okay, that's it. Goodbye.
