[00:00:00] Hey, welcome to ADHD owned an ADHD Entrepreneurs podcast. I'm so excited to kind of bring back to life this podcast. Um, had lots of cool, not so cool changes last year, and so I'm really [00:01:00] excited about this year. I don't know about you, but I just feel like. 2022 was, there's just a lot of things going on for me, and I feel like this year a lot of things have just fallen into place.
[00:01:12] Things that I have been like trying to figure out the answer of and trying to make work for me. And just this year, like there's just so much healing that happened also in the last year that. Has really helped me in this new year. So anyways, I'm really excited to bring back this podcast and I'm also excited to announce that I will be now doing guest interviews.
[00:01:35] So I will be bringing people to you here on the podcast and interviewing them. I want to hear from a range of ADHD entrepreneurs and get to hear the ins and outs of how they manage their adhd, how they run their business, and what tips do they have. For us, what things have they had to tweak for their own business?
[00:01:54] So I'm really excited about that. And if you have, , any requests of people that [00:02:00] you'd love for me to interview, please email me at . Jesse a hd owned.com, and I will take that into account when I'm looking to book some interviews for you guys. Okay, so today I have an episode to you about this.
[00:02:16] One huge block that I have encountered
[00:02:20] really affects h d entrepreneurs. Okay? And that is the fear of being salesy. Sales in general is something that I find adhd, entre. , uh, struggle with avoid, get anxious about, and there's quite a few reasons for this, and I wanna kind of dive into those so you can understand yourself, you can understand what's happening.
[00:02:44] , and I'm also gonna give you some tips of how you can move through these. Okay? And these tips work for me. They work for my clients. There are proven tips that may help you. , put yourself out there. Okay, so why do h g [00:03:00] struggle with the fear of being salesy or even just putting themselves out there and doing sales for their business?
[00:03:08] Okay, now this is a tough one for us because. it. The really, the R S D, the rejection sensitivity dysphoria. The fear of rejection really holds us back and affects us in this one because it feels very vulnerable for us to put ourselves out to invite people to buy from us. And then either hear crickets or hear people maybe even say negative comments about it.
[00:03:36] , it, it feels like rejection, right? And our business can be very personal to us, , which is another topic, but we got really have to work through, um, de personifying our business. I don't know if that's a word, but really removing ourself, our identity from our business, because that's gonna. Running your business so tricky when you [00:04:00] have your identity wrapped into your business.
[00:04:02] Because if someone rejects your offer or whatever you're selling, you're gonna take it as a direct rejection to you, which is not the case. , so the R s D definitely plays a part here in our fear of being salesy, but there's another big thing here. How many of you. Feel a little triggered or have a high BS meter.
[00:04:24] a really good BS meter of when you're being sold to, like you pay attention to that. You're observant of how people are approaching you and you're observant to see if you're, if they're trying to sell you something and if they are trying to sell you something, it kind of makes their intentions an approach to.
[00:04:46] um, it, it kind of taints that you feel like, oh, they're just talking to me because they're just trying to get me to buy. Right. And I have found that aDHD'ers are so much more triggered by being sold to than the average entrepreneur. [00:05:00] And I think this comes just from our also keen sense of like that BS meter of.
[00:05:07] knowing when we're being sold to now some ADHD'ers don't, some ADHD'ers are a little bit clueless. , but other 80 shears are a bit more keen on that and we. don't like that feeling of feeling like someone is just trying to take advantage of us or someone is only talking to us, giving us attention, , interacting with us only to get something for themselves.
[00:05:28] That's an icky feeling for us, and we don't want anything to do with it. Right? So this is hard because if you are triggered when you're being sold to, if you feel like everyone is just out for themselves and just trying to make money off of, you don't, don't, don't really. If they can actually help you, but just trying to make money off of you.
[00:05:49] If that is your worldview and the way you view the online business world, then it is going to be so hard for you to step into the shoes of being the seller, [00:06:00] of being now the person that's putting themselves out there and is trying to sell something. I promise you this is a huge chunk of, of where you are having issues with selling.
[00:06:14] you feel very triggered when you're being sold to. Okay? So we don't wanna put someone else in that position, and that's why we avoid selling. This is where the fear of being salesy. We don't wanna come off as a car salesman because ew, that is not in us. Okay? So, . That is one thing that I, that I like to teach my clients.
[00:06:36] And I actually have, , a whole course, kind of mini course here on selling as an ADHD or empath, how to sell in a way that does feel line, that does feel organic, , and also moving through the salesyness and the icky feelings that we get. I have a whole, many course on this in my community. Um, . What I talk about in that course is that [00:07:00] if you are not a car salesperson, if you don't have negative ulterior motives, now of course we're not in business only to serve.
[00:07:08] I mean, we definitely wanna serve, but we're also in business because we need to get our, our bills paid. Okay. Um, that's why it's a business and not a charity. Right. And there's nothing wrong with that.
[00:07:19] So if you are not a salesy person, someone who is selling snake oil , then how is that supposed to come out of you? How are you gonna, how are you gonna come off as a salesy person if you're not a salesy person? Now, someone who is just going to see any form of selling. , they're just, they're automatically going, going to label it as, ah, this person's just being salesy.
[00:07:41] They just want something out of me. Right? Kind of like how we all do, when people try to sell to us, it doesn't even matter what their actual motive was. We just kind of like blanket them into, put them in a box into being salesy. So that's gonna happen regardless, and we just have to prepare and we have to know that people are just going to turn us [00:08:00] down because they sense that we're just trying to sell to them.
[00:08:03] Okay? So you have to get over that. Um, but. . If you are not a snake oil car salesman, icky strategy bro, marketing strategy person, then that can't come out of you. So if that can't come out of you, stop worrying that it's gonna come off that way, , because not, and if it does, then that's more on the receiving end.
[00:08:25] The receiving person is, is, is now seeing it that way. But that's not true. Okay. So we really have to, uh, kind of tell ourselves it is safe.. It is. Okay. I know I've checked my motives. I know that what I'm offering is really, truly helpful to someone, and I really want to help someone with this, and I can only do that if there's an exchange here.
[00:08:46] An exchange, a monetary exchange. Okay? So that that is one huge thing that I need all 80 shares, empaths, HSPs, whatever you wanna call it, neuro divergence. You need to understand [00:09:00] that if you're not a car salesperson and you're not selling snake oil, then that can't come out of you. . Okay, so trust yourself. That's one big thing.
[00:09:10] The other thing that we need to do is remember why we started our business. Remember why the heck you're doing this, Because you're not. You're not really doing this for you. You're doing it to serve a group of people or someone, right? You're doing it to serve your niche, your industry. That's what really keeps you in here day in and day out.
[00:09:31] I'll say this a million times. . I value someone saying, Jesse, that was so helpful. I'm so glad that I've had you in my circle. I'm so glad that you've coached me. Like I much rather hear the testimonials, the results that my clients get. Hear that over. You know, the cha-ching noise that my phone makes when the sale comes in.
[00:09:56] Now the TAing noise is very fun, very dopamine [00:10:00] inducing. I'll tell you. , but if I value more me serving someone, someone getting a result, someone getting a transformation because of my work, then monetary stuff. And this is so true for so many HDRs, and that's why we're in business because we really wanna serve.
[00:10:20] But babe, how the hell do you serve if you don't put yourself out there and even tell people what you're selling? , here's something that I see super often. Maybe you're not even making posts or you're not even showing up online. So if that's the case, well we gotta start there cuz no one really knows what you're doing, then no one is remembering that you are that website designer that they need.
[00:10:42] No one is remembering you or keeping you top of mind because you are not top of mind. Okay? So we gotta start there. , but if you are putting out content. , how many times are you talking about what it is that you do, how you help people? Giving the pricing information or giving the actual details of, of what it includes?
[00:10:59] [00:11:00] How many times go look at your content? How many times have you talked about it? Because I'll tell you right off the bat, it's not enough. And this is something that a ADHD'ers fight me on a lot. Right. Is the fact that we would much rather, uh, pawn this off to someone else. I'll just buy it or I'll just hire a salesperson for my business.
[00:11:19] Right? Wouldn't we all just love to do that, or we'll say, I'll just make a few posts here and there and talk about it wrong. None of that is going to be enough. You need to be talking about it often. Now, it does not have to be a whole post dedicated to what you're selling and trying to get people to sell.
[00:11:36] That's not what I'm saying, and that's not the approach that I recommend because that is very in your face and you are gonna get people that are going to be turned off by it. Okay? But you just need to be positioning yourself, showing up, reminding people what it is that you do, telling stories of how you help people.
[00:11:56] explaining how it is that you even help people. What are some of the methods that you use? [00:12:00] What are, what are some of the ways that you're supporting people through this? What are some of the results that people are getting? What was their before and after, right? What is the experience? What were some of the fuckups you did?
[00:12:11] What were some things that went wrong in your business? Even telling that you just wanna be. Presently showing up and having some form of communication so people can connect with you, get to know you more, and fully understand and remember what it is that you do and how you serve people. Okay, so we have to put ourselves out there because if we don't put ourselves out there, then who are we helping?
[00:12:36] No one. Here's something that I want to leave you with.
[00:12:41] If you were to die struck by lightning next month, what kind of knowledge, value, help, support, what kind of knowledge would die with you? I want you to think about that. , what kind of [00:13:00] knowledge would die with you? What kind of courses that you could have put out is gonna die with you? What kind of methods that you found that really work is gonna die with you?
[00:13:08] What kind of products that you've created are gonna die with you and are not gonna help anyone? Okay. This is a reminder and, uh, a belief shift here that I like to give myself when I'm about to put out a new. Or when I'm feeling not worthy or like, I'm feeling like, why am I even doing this again? Which are very normal thoughts, by the way.
[00:13:32] Um, and don't make them mean something that don't make them mean something weightier than, than it's just an anxious thought.
[00:13:40] I don't want all of the knowledge, the strategies, the tips, the support, the things that I have learned, blood, sweat, and tears. I don't want that to die with me. I want that to live on. I want that to be my legacy. I want people that E, even if I were to die, just so morbid, but [00:14:00] even if something were to happen to me or I were to lose my voice or whatever, I don't want that stuff to die with me.
[00:14:08] I want it to be able to live on and to support and help people.
[00:14:11] And when you put it that way, you realize that there's so much genius in your brain, so much wisdom, so much knowledge, so much support and help and tools in your brain that it's not fair if you don't put them out. because you, you only get to help yourself with them or whoever is just, you know, nearest proximity that you get to info dump on.
[00:14:35] But none of that is productive and none of that is helping the world. None of that is making an impact and sharing a transformation. And if I know anything about H shares is that that is what we most desire is to make an impact. So let me tell. If you were to die the next month, struck by lightning choked on a Dorito chip, what is gonna die with you?[00:15:00]
[00:15:00] And whatever stuff comes to mind, consider making that a product. Consider making a course on it. Consider doing a training on it. Consider setting up a group program for it because you don't want that to to go with you. You want that to stay in the world. You want that to help someone. Okay. Now, when it comes to sales, that is what you're doing.
[00:15:21] Okay? Now, wherever you are, I want you to repeat this out loud. Selling equals serving. Selling equals serving. Selling is not to make money. Selling is not ulterior motives. Selling is not paying the bills. Selling is not trying to get something out of someone. Selling is serving because you are. Producing, exchanging something, and that money is only an exchange of energy.
[00:15:52] It's a monetary exchange, but it's just an exchange. Okay? So it's really important for [00:16:00] you to retrain your mind to see selling not as this evil thing that you have to do in your business, not this like evil necessary or thing. Tend to procrastinate on or not a gateway to be rejected, but it is a form of you serving.
[00:16:22] It's a way that you are going to serve a way that you're gonna make an impact in someone's life. Okay? Now this belief shift is a must necessary and so important for every ADHD entrepreneur to make, any entrepreneur to make for that. because without this, you're going to continue to avoid selling. You're going to continue to avoid making that post. You're going to continue to not show up. And when people ask you for your price, you're gonna continue to flounder and bite your nails and not know what to. Okay. [00:17:00] We really have to approach our business as the vehicle that is creating an impact or transformation or result in someone.
[00:17:09] And the way that you do that is through the first line of contact is through your selling. It's the first step. So I hope that that helps you kind of reposition the way you see selling it in your. You have to, okay, I'll leave you with this. With this last other mindset shift. Sometimes it's easier for ADHD'ers.
[00:17:34] Sometimes it's easier for us to do things for other people than it is for ourselves. How many of you, that's true for you because I found this so true for my life. My friend needed me to help her with the copy of her website. Done. I hyper-focused on that thing. I was so excited to do it. I got it. , my VA asked me for the copy of my website.
[00:17:57] That thing took me years to do. . [00:18:00] Not really years, but long time. I really drugged. Drugged. I really dragged my feet on that. Why is it so much easier for us to do things for others? There's many reasons. I actually don't wanna get into it. Why? But, um, another episode. So if that's true for you, it's so much easier for you to do things for others than it is for yourself, then I want you to now start seeing selling, showing up in your business.
[00:18:29] I want you to start seeing that as something that you're not doing for yourself, but something that you're doing for them. I much rather take on the risk of rejection. I, I love and care, and I'm so committed to the mission. of supporting a d g entrepreneurs supporting my clients, my audience. I'm so committed to that, that I am willing to risk rejection for it.
[00:18:55] I'm not willing to risk rejection for myself, but I'm willing to risk rejection for [00:19:00] them. I'm willing to be uncomfortable to get uncomfortable and put myself out there as long as I know that it may make me a step closer to helping and supporting those people and giving them a transformation. So look at it that way.
[00:19:17] Don't do it for you. Do it for them. That's why you're in business anyways, right? Do it for them. And I know many of you can say, okay, I, I'm willing to risk, I'm willing to commit to my sales. I'm willing to commit to showing up because it can get me closer to giving someone a transformation. You're not doing it for you, you're doing it for them.
[00:19:44] I wrote, I wrote this, , comment in one of my Facebook posts in my Facebook group, which by the way, should join. , , it's your responsibility to tell people what you sell, to tell people how you help. It's your responsibility cuz no one is gonna do it for you. No one it. [00:20:00] It's up to you. And no one remembers that one sales post you did a month ago,
[00:20:05] You gotta constantly talk about it. You gotta talk about it more than just one time out of the month. Add it as a call to action. Don't. . Again, when I say a sales post, it doesn't have to be like, Hey guys, this is what I'm selling. I have three spots left for my one-on-one coaching. By here. It's only this much.
[00:20:21] No, not like that. But I will make a post talking about the transformation my my client had, where I will make a post. Talking about how when I first started as an ADHD entrepreneur, there were no h g business coaches out there. I looked for them far and wide, and that position didn't even exist back. , and that was my motivation to figure it out for myself so that I can then share what I learned with others, and I could be maybe that person that I needed.
[00:20:51] I can share my story of that, and you know what that does? That's having people trust me. Having people know my story, having people understand where I came from. That in and of its way [00:21:00] is selling to people without me even giving them a price or even telling them about my offer. Okay, stop muting your voice and your opportunity to make an.
[00:21:11] You're stopping yourself from that opportunity to make an impact. Tell your self-doubt, your imposter syndrome, and your insecurities to shut up and move out of the way because you have a mission to make an impact on your people. and you can't do that unless they know you can help. So don't do it for you, do it for them.
[00:21:32] My R S D tells me, don't you dare risk getting rejected. Don't put yourself out there. You're going to get disappointed. But if I were to listen to that voice, I don't get to serve the people that desperately need and want my help. So I don't do it for me, I do it for them. It's easier to risk the rejection when I'm doing it in their name than when I'm doing it for myself.
[00:21:54] Okay. That is a little comment that I made in my Facebook post that I think goes great with [00:22:00] basically sums up what we talked about here. So you really want to also find ways that can make this safe for you. Your nervous system. It's nervous. It doesn't like that. It doesn't like knowing that you're about to make a sales post and that rejection can come in, that you can be disappointed because no one commented or liked it.
[00:22:20] Your brain will do its job to try to protect you from that risk and stop you from getting there. So have some tools around you to regulate your nervous system. Tell your body and your mind. It is safe. It is. Okay. We're going to be okay.
[00:22:39] have some coping. Ready for you to do that? One thing that I do, if I know that I'm gonna be triggered, or if I'm putting out a vulnerable sales post, or I'm announcing a new offer for the first time and it's, you know, kind of nerve wracking, I will have my essential oils ready. I will have [00:23:00] my, like, jazz, chill, restful music ready.
[00:23:04] I'll have, , my, uh, weighted blanket on me to help my body. I will try to make myself the most comfortable and feel and have an environment where I feel safe. , and sometimes I even have to go. If, if it's gonna be very, very triggering, then I'll, I will have to do breathing exercises or tapping, or I will grab , an ice pack from my fridge and I'll put that on my chest to help my nervous system kind of.
[00:23:34] Come back to life and get grounded. You have to use your tools, okay? Don't just sit there on your computer , and be at the mercy of your emotions. , have some tools that are going to help you move past that. Okay? Your nervous system is so important in your business, and you don't want your nervous system being hijacked every time you're doing something quote unquote risky or something out of your comfort zone,
[00:23:59] [00:24:00] you really want to help protect your nervous system and keep it regulated. Okay? Those are all my tips for if you feel. , you have a fear of being salesy. You struggle with that. R s d, you struggle with putting yourself out there. , these are some of the top tips that have worked for me. Some of the top mindset shifts that really have worked for me and my clients.
[00:24:23] Something that if I were to get on soapbox, I will talk about this every time because it is. , the one thing stopping you from feeling so fulfilled in your business because you are making an impact because you're serving people actively. , you don't wanna go through dry spells where you're not getting any sales and you're not making any impact because that's how you'll get burned out.
[00:24:43] You'll lose a passion for your business and you'll start looking up nine to fives. , okay. We don't want you there. And if you really want any support on this and you want to create sustainable income for your business in a way that is not gonna burn you out, is not going [00:25:00] to increase the sabotage, , and is not gonna overwhelm you, then.
[00:25:04] I have only two more one-on-one spots to work with me. , it is a 12 week program and you get a Zoom call with me every other week, and you get in between Voxer support. So you get me in your back pocket Monday through Friday, , to really go through any of the blocks and as you implement the things that we work on and strategize.
[00:25:24] But I have helped so many clients in this area. because the sales is a huge part of having a healthy, profitable business. So this is an area that we can't avoid that we will always talk about and we will work through any of the mental blocks that come up. Also, any of the money beliefs that you're holding onto that are really affecting the way you're showing up in your business, the way you're operating your business.
[00:25:49] Most of my one-on-one clients see a three x revenue increase after working with me because we really. Make so many valuable tweaks in their business [00:26:00] structure, in the way they're showing up in their marketing strategy, in their mindset and their beliefs. So many of those tweaks that lead to them having more confidence to them showing up
[00:26:10] boldly to them having more clients, , be in their dms. Really the attraction marketing starts to happen when you implement my strategies and all of my strategies and everything I recommend is all A D H D friendly. It is all geared towards the A D H D brain. I'm not gonna be your coach if you don't.
[00:26:29] if you don't have ADHD or you're not neuros, spicy neurodivergent, I'm not gonna be the best coach for you. Cuz all of my strategies are really for that. I don't really know how to help neurotypicals other than telling them, good job, keep going. Stay consistent. Right? That's not the approach I take. , and I work with a lot of moms and a lot of chronic illness people, , that don't have loads and loads of time and energy.
[00:26:51] So it's really tailoring. , it, it, it can be tricky, but it's really tailoring how much energy, how much time they [00:27:00] have and molding their business so that it meets their lifestyle, meets their need. So anyways, I have two, one-on-one spots left to work with me. , you can get more information on that here in the show notes.
[00:27:12] You can do a sales call with me, a discovery call, coffee chat, whatever you wanna call it, just to make sure that we are a good fit. , I don't take anyone on as a client that I'm not a hundred percent confident that I can help. So I will be very brutally honest with you if I feel like we're not a good fit.
[00:27:27] Well, I shouldn't say brutally honest. That sounds like I'm gonna be rude about it. I'm not gonna be rude about it, but I will be very honest with you and maybe even point you to someone who could support you. Um, so yes, check that out in the show notes. If you're looking for a coach to really get you to where you wanna be in your business, to where you know you've had the potential, but you're really floundering, your A D H D is completely sabotaging your success, your potential, and you're ready to take the driver's seat and be the CEO that you know you have.
[00:27:55] the potential for and make sustainable income and really [00:28:00] work with your brain and not against it, then this is going to be for you. If not, I'd love to know if this episode is beneficial. What were your key takeaway? Send them to me on Instagram, by the way, follow my new Instagram. Um, oh, I was supposed to mention that in this episode, but I did get hacked.
[00:28:18] So we have a new Facebook group and I have a new, Instagram account. It's a long story, but there's really no way I'm getting them back. So just follow me on all of my new things. , my username for really everything now is at A D H D owned. , so easier to find me. Send me a DM or an email if you have any questions, , or any comments
[00:28:40] Okay, friends, that is it. I'm so excited for this new year. I'm so excited for all of the awesome things that are going to come for this podcast, and I'm excited to watch you guys grow and hear your stories. Okay, I'll catch you at the next episode.
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